my genius marketing plan

As soon as you sign a publishing contract, your duties suddenly explode beyond the world of writing. You are now an entity that is responsible for such abstract, scary tasks as "building a platform" and "marketing." (Whenever I hear building a platform I still just think of people putting together the giant stage that they use for graduation ceremonies at my Alma Mater.

This whole getting people to like you and buy your book thing is a little overwhelming at times. But--BUT-- I have a plan. You see, my books have a hook that involves British Royalty. And it seems that everyone really loves Will and Kate. So if I can just tap into this cultural obsession with the British Royal family...

So, I present to you, my genius marketing plan. No really. It's fool-proof.

(The following conversation was held with my critique partner and should be taken with one (maybe two) grains of salt).

Me: Marketing is so fickle. I have my fingers crossed that William and Kate will decide to have a baby around the time my book comes out.

Kate:  Maybe we should give them a call‬.

Me:  We should.‬

Kate:  ‪"Hey, Wills - get on the babymaking! It would really help a sister out."‬

Me:  ‪Be like, "Look here, Kate Middleton, you need to have a baby next summer so I can be a bestseller."‬

Kate:  Haha. I love it.

Me:  ‪If only.‬


So there you go. I've given away my genius marketing plan. Let me just pick up my phone and call...